We are . . . (drum roll) . ..

. . .OLD!

We've had some uninvited guest move into the kitchen. (By the way, from our experience, beetles are the most welcome uninvited guest of the several uninvited guest we are dealing with. Just our opinion.)
We cleaned out all the cabinets. Even the ones in laundry room which haven't been empty since we moved in.
We called out our pest control fella, Mr. Cash. A very nice man.
We waited.

We've also had an uninvited guest in the chicken pen. A king snake. We (the Daddy) have taken him/her out and into the woods or tall grass and a few days later, Snake in the chicken pen. Eating OUR eggs.

Gene was told (from who knows where) that putting moth balls around the chicken coop would keep snakes away. (That is NOT a fact).

What a novel idea! If it works for moths and snakes maybe it would work on other pesky critters as well.
We bought 2 boxes of moth balls. One for the chicken pen. One for the kitchen.

That night, after the kids were tucked in, Gene went to guard the chicken pen with moth balls while I placed one ball in each drawer and on each cabinet shelf while reminiscing about MawMaw's house.

The next morning, upon waking and smelling a peculiar odor, several children wondered WHO had come to visit. "Why does it smell like old people?"

So, wrinkles don't matter. The number of your years is only a number. But if you smell like moth balls, your old.

(We are dinning in the school room because of the smell. These things have until the end of the week to prove they might work even a little. If we deem them just a bad smell, we're going back to smelling young again). (Does young smell like dirt?)